Werewolves ❤ mexico
OK seriously why are "Build-Your-Own-Whatever" restaurants becoming increasingly popular? Remember how stressed out we all got at The Counter in LA? This place is opening: U-Sushi at Market & First. I have to make a million decisions just to get one order of sushi - white or brown rice, seaweed or soy paper, fish, veggie, dressings and garnishes. that's over 40 options. Why can't I just say "you give me the food, I give you the money????"
GODDAMNIT.
Free iPhone Apps
Anyone else remember when the Top 25 Free apps didn’t make you feel like your device was built for 12 year old girls?
Burritos and Radiohead
What kind of prick thinks I need to be listening to Radiohead while I eat my overpriced carne asada quesadilla and read the new york times on my iPhone?
Heineken
What’s the explanation for its existence? Did someone get tired of drinking taint sweat?
Maybe you should just stick with Zima, buddy.
Idiotfest
Yes, Rick Santorum, the reason the economy added jobs is because people are nostalgic for the economic clusterfuck of the Bush administration and are hopeful for a third try at running this ship aground.
So this is still what we’re working with when it comes to broken bones. In 2012.
Where exactly does medical research money go? Dick drugs?
Yes, thank you doctor, I was hoping you’d fix me up with a nice arm barrel. This should clear everything up in, oh, 6 weeks.
I’m going to an electrician for medical care from now on.
Revolving Doors and Societal Decay
“What’s the deal with revolving doors? To me, it is a complete waste of space as, really, it doesn’t do much for the flow of in-and-out traffic. One person at a time? AND you have to wait for those who are timid (like myself (I do not like thrills)) to figure it the fuck out. AND you have to touch it for it to move (xtra germie). It’s not like the polite escalator or considerate automatic door (complete with sensors). What I really mean is that the Walgreens at Howard & Spear irritates me so bad.”
@Joanstown asks the oracle.
WELL JOANSTOWN, it’s like this. You see, revolving doors just give us an opportunity to hate our fellow man. Either they fuck it up (i.e. the Joanstown model) or they don’t push. It’s like a reverse Ouija board. For reals, next time you’re revolvin’, just stop pushing. Half the time the other dickface is just free-loadin’ off all your hard work!!
Doctors and my Balls
So I went to the doctor yesterday and it involved him fondling my balls. Two things:
1) Why the fuck are you “giving me privacy” while I pull my pants down when the end game is you cupping my balls with my dick in your face??
2) Do they train doctors on how to move the dick out of the way? Because his three-fingered Plush-Animal-Machine claw approach was fantastic.
